The house is for sale. So sad, Family is breaking.

[mamabird]

Hi Floyd.

I started reading a book the other day called "Why Talking Is Not Enough: Eight Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage" by Susan Page.

As I read this book I see that it's right in line with what Sandi and the others have been saying to us - that you have to focus on YOU.

I know that I have had a REALLY hard time taking that advice to heart, but something in this book put it in a way that made sense to me - that I GAIN by doing it, that I grow as a person by doing it. Maybe you can get it from the library or pick up a copy. It might help all of this "gel" for you. Even over the last few days as I've dropped the reins, I feel that I've created some space for H to just be.

I'm getting my H a Christmas gift. Believe it or not, he sent me a few links for things he wanted. So I assume that he expects us to exchange gifts. We did for Hanukkah - small $20 gifts. No diamond rings or anything. He said it was to "keep the peace." Who freakin knows.

You probably don't want to get her something if she'll see it as pursuing, but you could ask her if there's anything in particular that she'd like this year and gauge from there.

What has helped me over the past few days is thinking that I'm doing this for ME and not for H or our M. I can't change H, I can't control the outcome of our M but I can control me and how I behave. I know I haven't been very easy to live with so I have a lot of work to do. :-)