so, as we approach a separation as of Jan 1st, where do I draw the line in terms of our "friendship"? I feel like she has to be able to miss what she had before she can appreciate it.
do I maintain only civil contact with her as required for the kids etc?
it's very difficult to know how to act to ensure that you don't allow spouse to have cake and eat it too but at the same time not alienate any chance of reconciliation down the line.
Jody, my DB coach has suggested to maintain the friendliness and be on my A game when I see her.
it will all be very interesting going forward that's for sure!
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do I maintain only civil contact with her as required for the kids etc?
Pretty much this. With maybe a touch of kindness here and there.
You're right, you want her to know what she's giving up on, but don't want to go cold or resentful either. As long as you remain civil, you have not bombed all chances of R. As long as you're not being the best friend/catering to her needs, you're not allowing cake eating.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
