I've just caught up on your sitch and snodderly's post above hit me pretty hard, as this was something I was just talking to my C about today. References to me being H's rock, he needs the rock and loves the rock, but sometimes resents and feels he needs to run from it, do his own thing. C pointed out how I had taken on a 'mother' role in the relationship, not allowing H to grow and protecting him from potential 'mistakes' he may make. I've been revisiting many past instances where this was true, remembering how I bubble-wrapped H or took charge and was the decision maker, possibly emasculating H (not intentionally, my intents were to take care of things and get things done). But she reminded me how I rarely LET him take care of me, even when I desperately wanted him to.
I relate to your independence in the relationship. Us LDers really have to be independent people, or we can't survive LDs very long.
Reading your sitch, I agree that by letting go and enjoying you and your time, you may find yourself enjoying yourself without even realizing it. Let him deal without you. One of two things will happen, 50/50 odds either way. Regardless of what happens in the future, you still have to live with you. So why not allow yourself to have some fun (I know, it's so much easier to tell someone else that then live it myself... ;-)). Just FYI, I actually put my phone away tonight and am doing my best to not go in the other room to see if my little light is blinking...so Pavlovian.
I am all for an LD DB road trip through Italy. Sign me up and tell me when!
