I hear ya Lois. I still can't bear the thought of hawking our wedding rings for money. Im holding on to them if it gets to that point but still, I really value the good times.
I guess what is so weird is that myself and my girls honestly grieve the man we once knew. The girls still talk about good times when he was here, and I still remember them and cherish them. Then to look at him now and witness the insanity, I mean he looks like the man I married but he sure the heck doesn't act like him. Honestly, Im not ashamed to admit it would've been easier if he'd had died. I guess in a way he has, at least the old person I knew.
Lois I understand your anger, oh boy do I. I still go through it. I guess the only difference between now and a year ago is that when he annoys me, Im irritated for anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour maximum, then it's done. A year ago it would take me a week sometimes two to cool down. And at that time he was cycling so darned fast I was either extremely irate or just a heap of tears.
Now, Im just constantly annoyed. The stuff he's doing now is just so silly and stupid, and honestly so 10TH GRADE!
I decided to go back on my anti depressants. It dawned on me that Im mildly depressed, though still doing much better and have come so far. Im just a little too darn irritable anymore, concentration is really a challenge for me, and all I want is to be left alone and not bothered.... all the time!
