Life with a Cake Eater

[wishing, hoping]

I'll take any cake but no nuts! I have had enough of nuts to last a lifetime! : )

[mizjjd]

Wow. This is one cake loving crowd lol.

Go Miz!

Love the title of the new thread....but always chocolate for me - Devil's Food sounds appropriate!

Devil's Food makes H sick, so let's have LOTS of that lol >Bad me<

Sorry I haven't caught up on whole story, but do love the title. Can I have cake with you guys, seems the H gets all the cake at my house these days

I hear that one loud and clear! Welcome and have a slice

Am I invited?

Yes I told you not to move out of the bedroom.
If you look up the top 10 mistakes you can make in a divorce, one of them is moving out of the bedroom or house.
It can be used against you, as abandonment.

If he does not want to be a proper husband then let him leave.
Maintain your boundaries.
Although I am not sure what I think about this it was posted yesterday from MWD
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2306478#Post2306478

I dont think cakeating in an active affair is a good idea.

But Michele has some food for thought.

Yes, join us Cadet! I checked out that link and I too have mixed feelings about it. I can see how it does help to maintain a connection but in the case of an affair or even an MLC/WAS who appears to simply "expect" servicing... not sure its the best idea. For me, it would definitely hinder detachment. But thanks for sharing!

Can I join the coffee cake group? Cinnamon struesal for me.
There was a picnic blanket group in newcomers but I never felt I fit so I didn't ask to join. But this one's for me if you'll have me! Pretty please?

GWN, I'm sorry you fit in here because its certainly not an enjoyable commonality But WELCOME!!

I'll take any cake but no nuts! I have had enough of nuts to last a lifetime! : )

And you know, there is not much worse than biting into a nut gone bad!

Thank you everyone for stopping by for some cake with me

H is, I think, a cake-eating-camel. Yesterday there was the hug, today there was a fanny pat. The only thing I read into this is that he's establishing dominance or territory. I don't want him to think he's "getting to me" so want to be very low key when I address the issue.

Other than that, status quo. He tells me about his online poker games. We talk about kid related stuff.

Work is trudging along for me. Def don't see this being a life long career...

Ah! Have to run already.

Thanks again everybody for stopping by. I'm suddenly so pressed for time that I haven't been able to check in on others' threads the way I should. But I hope you all are having good days.

[MissAgnes]

Food for thought, nuts gone bad, devil's food cake.... thank you for making me smile today

[mizjjd]

That's what I'm here for lol.

~~Not much new to report. Seem to be in a holding pattern. Feeling more tired than hurt today, I'm taking that as progress.

Cheers

[mizjjd]

H just brought up how a few months ago I went against a decision to open a little pizza place.

He said it was a mistake.

I said probably not - just be more to deal with when he got involved with ow.

He said if we'd had the pizza place he'd never had gotten involved with ow.

[BeingMe]

Oh, here it is ... it's all your fault. Just hate it when they bump into those affairs. What if you had agreed, and it had failed (the economy does s*ck, so it's possible)? He would've felt like a failure and then had an affair to boost his confidence. He would've blamed you for agreeing. We LBSers just cannot win.

PS I'm on wheat free (and husband) diet, so I'll just have the coffee, thank ye kindly.

[LoisB]

A pizza shop! That's the ticket! MizJ, how could you have made such a terrible decision? Give me a break.

My H, in counseling, brought up how a delivery truck bumped a piece of siding on the garage ten years ago. He said it was one of the reasons that he needed to leave me.

Incidentally, I had someone nail the siding back in place after H moved out. The job took about 30 seconds. Looks like it never happened. What a dweeb!

Heather

[greatwhitenorth]

Geez, Miz, how dare you not open a pizza place in a stagnant economy? The nerve!

And that siding, Lois, I bet he was planning to get to it the day after you gave him no choice but move out.

One of my crimes was putting money into a retirement investment fund. What a ridiculous notion!

[mizjjd]

Thanks guys.

I know what he said was ridiculous and I just had to share it with someone before my head exploded.

One of the things about his affair I find the hardest to deal with is how he dismisses it. Of course he insists its only online - and I have no proof that its more - but HOW can a husband think its ok to write to another woman what he wants to do to her sexually? How can he think its excusable to write to somebody else "I love you"? This attitude of pooh-poohing makes the betrayal so much worse... because it just... I don't know... adds insult to injury.

Now I do understand the MLC brain CANNOT take responsibility for its actions, so the above is really just rhetorical ranting.

H told me tonight "I still don't have your Christmas list"

I am torn between telling him I don't want anything from him

or

I'd like a divorce.

I am trying to wait until after Christmas for the D discussion but sometimes (like now - can't sleep, can't turn off the brain or the tears) I don't think I can make it.

[mizjjd]

Wow. Really not sleeping tonight. Had been getting better. Guess I've been hit by some rogue wave of pain/hurt/anguish/despair.

I read here on DB somewhere, probably never find it again, that the MLCer may regard the spouse as a "part" of themselves. I think that may apply to my H.

He continually makes references to a future with both of us in it. I have never called him out on any of these mentions, but just add it to the list of bewildering behaviors.