first time - need help still

[albamarie]

Nero - I'm a little better. I cried over my tree D18 and friend from Vegas put up. He left, but I miss the kid already, he's was sad to go, wished we had moved there already so they could go to school together. Me, I just wish I was not here, I do miss it there and the people I met, and hiking!

Sometimes I just feel better after I let myself feel!

I don't look forward to Christmas, no parents, no H or loved one to sit under the tree on the Eve as traditionally done, and grown kids who are into there GF's as they should be.

We are not exchanging gifts, we just seem to be going through the days because nothing can stop them from coming.

I find if I hold on to the fact that I "don't like him anymore" it's easier to not think to much, just keep saying, what does it matter, I don't like him, so whatever! LOL! any ole stupid thing you can say to not get all worked up!

I can get through most days reminding myself of this....it weakens his actions!