wishing, hoping ~ I really think that too sometimes.... I just want to say, really? You think I buy that?? But I don't I just smile and take it.

Sunny~Thank you! Those angry days do svck, but the good news is they pass, you just need to work yourself through it. wink Those days are usually the ones I find myself a sobbing, praying mess on the floor, but I always feel better after.

mizjjd~ Oh if only they had the forethought to realize lying hurts more!

snodderly~Yeah, it's going to be interesting indeed! On the up side I'm at a much better place, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually than I was last year... thing is he isn't, but I'm not letting that affect me. smile

T~Ah yes I see the error of my way. It's still hard to get the no joking thing (well they can joke with anyone but US). Guess I forgot because joking was ok in his drunken state the day before..... oh well. I was hoping I didn't push him into changing his mind about going to the party to prove a point. I very well may have. IDK, time will tell.

H oddly didn't go to the gym this morning.... when I was finished getting ready for work I went out to the kitchen where he was making egg sandwiches..... strange. Yes he asked if I would like one, I said sure and thanked him.

Later when he was in the shower something compelled me to look at his phone, and I have decided he thinks I look at it waaaaay more than I do, I am pretty sure he leaves things in there in an attempt to make me angry or start a fight, like what I had read the other week and the Christmas party. The thing is nothing is really phasing me any more. I guess this is detachment?

Anyway, this mornings texts that I saw were between him and that male co-worker, about the Christmas party. He told co-worker he was going to go. The co-worker said his wife was so excited and he better not stand her up, and then made some sexual reference about his W and my H..... um.... EEEWWWWW!!! H made some comment about not disappointing her, I'm pretty sure I rolled my eyes as I was reading it! LOL H asked it's at 6 right? Co-worker said 6-11. That was about it for the conversation.

The good news is, I didn't really care. He's the one doing the wrong thing, he's the one who will have to deal with the guilt someday, and who will have to answer for it someday, and me getting upset isn't going to change a blessed thing. So I will just keep on praying and being my typical happy self. grin

When he came back out to the living room area this morning I causally said, "You have a match on Saturday right?" H said yes, seemed ok with me asking. I said something about and you have to get up early for that right? He said yeah why do you need something. I said nope, I was just trying to remember, I'm not really going to be here much Saturday either.

I gathered up all the stuff I needed for work and said, "Have a good day, and have fun at your work dinner tonight." He just said yeah or something. Once I got downstairs I yelled up, "Oh and thanks again for the egg sandwich." I don't remember his response to that.

So who knows if there really is a work dinner right now or not, but he's not here and I'm not going to lose any sleep over it, this is God's mess to sort out and I keep reminding myself God doesn't need me to intervene in any way.

Also, it's really stupid of him to go to the party tomorrow considering I know when and where it is, because it's always at the same place. He doesn't know if I would show up and make a scene. Don't worry, I am NOT doing that, NOOOOOOO way!!!!! Oddly enough I will be up that way Christmas shopping tomorrow evening. LOL