LIS, I'm perusing the Piecing thread to see if there's much of anything there that can help. I don't want to offshoot somewhere else and be redundant, but maybe there can never be too much help, ya know? Do you mind if I use your post as part of the initial introductions? It just resonated so strongly with me. Maybe between the two of us, and whoever else wants to join in, we'll figure this out and light the way for someone else.
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
Pia Mellody is great on boundaries. I have some of her books and a CD set that might as well be "Boundaries for Dummies". She is pretty darned logical, so I think you'd like her, CV.
My summary: There are two general types of boundaries - protective (to keep yourself from being harmed by others) and containment (to keep yourself from harming others).
Another key point that Pia makes is that enforcing boundaries is largely a silent enterprise. It's about respecting ourselves and making choices that take care of us. It's not about trying to get others to behave in ways that are less uncomfortable for us. Her CDs have good examples of how to figure out where to draw your lines and what having boundaries looks like. Also how to tell other people about their impact on us without trying to control them.
Pia Mellody is great on boundaries. I have some of her books and a CD set that might as well be "Boundaries for Dummies". She is pretty darned logical, so I think you'd like her, CV.
My summary: There are two general types of boundaries - protective (to keep yourself from being harmed by others) and containment (to keep yourself from harming others).
Another key point that Pia makes is that enforcing boundaries is largely a silent enterprise. It's about respecting ourselves and making choices that take care of us. It's not about trying to get others to behave in ways that are less uncomfortable for us. Her CDs have good examples of how to figure out where to draw your lines and what having boundaries looks like. Also how to tell other people about their impact on us without trying to control them.
