Yes, both of us have been conflict avoiders, and because we are both sensitive, have not really learned to have an argument without devastated hurt feelings, defensiveness, etc. She is on to something and maybe it is time to work on that, and learn that conflict isn't the end of everything and also to get this stuff out in the open.
Imo, I have to remember that "be right or be happy" mantra, she has to remember that just because she is mad at me doesn't mean that it's "over" or that I'm "not "the one"" sort of black and white thinking (which she admits to).
hrm, I got more info on the incorrect using of the water, and it was that I was using too much, which, I can see her point, which I told her. We live in the high desert after all and I am eco-conscious...I was trying to jam through them because there were SO many, my focus was on speed, not conservation, and I was making a bit of a mess because of it...so I am going to tell her that I am open to working with her and learning how she wants things to be, and that she needs to let me know how she wants things done, that is her responsibility...I can't mind-read...no matter how much I try...lol. If it is something that is important enough for me to disagree and do it differently, then we can have that discussion at the time and try to find a consensus.
needgrace, good catch!...I hadn't thought of that, and it makes sense completely from her upbringing and our history. I shall observe with this possibility in mind...
sunny, you don't really "usually ignore it", do you? You do have some response, right?
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
