Sunny, You have to realize that I have been at this for an extremely long time. It took me approximately a year to really feel good again and to get a handle on the ups and downs. It's not easy, but you have to turn your focus to other things when those feelings come over you.
So, what was wrong w/the inlaws yesterday? You love the holidays? Then get cracking and create some new traditions. Plan some things for yourself and see if any of the single guys at work would like to do something over the holidays. There is no reason why you can't get out and have a bit of fun on your own. It might just help w/the down times.
BTW, the ups and downs are all part of the grieving process...it will get better in time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
