I feel so bad that she is having a hard time that all i want to do is just help her. I feel like crying for her. I know how she gets around the holidays. Now should I still put the money in the joint account..
One thing about the text is she did not yell at me like she would have a few months ago. I guess that is good. But i know deep down she is upset that she had to pay the car payment. I have been trying to do things that will bring us together and not cause more bad thoughts about me. So by doing giving her the late notice i caused more negitive feelings and that is the part i hate. is this ok for me to feel this way?
should i still put money in account or will she feel as if im doing it cause i feel sorry for her. thus causeing more bad feelings
Also should I continue to tell her I love her in my texts i send. I just put LU XO at the end of my texts to her. she has been reseptive to them in the past but not today..
LF, you say you feel bad for her, but don't you feel bad for you? For what she's been putting you through? Eventually she has to understand that there are consequences for her decision to leave, not return, and barely talk to you. Footing her bill hasn't brought you guys closer yet, has it? Other than she didn't yell at you the last few times you texted.
If you ever want to end this limbo, eventually you'll have to tell her that while you love her, you don't intend to continue on with the present set-up. When to do this is up to you, and only you will know when the time is right. Don't do it before the holidays though, whatever you do.
My thoughts: Give her the X-mas gift. It will make you happy, and allow her a more comfortable holiday. Then, unless you're ok with being in the same place you are now next x-mas, start working on your ultimatum for the new year. Once you deliver this, you cut her off. No more $$$ for a wife who refuses to be your wife. This may cause her to wake up, or she may not care, but at least you'll know where you guys stand.
As for the ILY's, do what ever makes you happiest. At this point it's not pushing her away any farther than she already is, and deleting it from your text isn't going to make her come running home.
Best Wishes for a happy new year!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
