Need help!

[angel61]

If you can do as Starsky advises, that would be great. But sometimes, its still on a case to case basis.

This happened to me lately - a convention, and I also did spy and knew that ex-OW was coming to attend (she lives in another country). I waited for H to mention it tome, but he never did.

I tried to calm myself by telling myself to trust, forgive, etc. but couldn't help it, I kept asking H questions like "Who will you have dinner with in Chicago?" etc, that he finally asked me what I was trying to find out. He sort of got sore at me, saying that did I think he will be "rendezvousing" with OW? he pointed out that yes, she was coming, but probably with her fiance, and that I should not think of her anymore as she is out of the picture and that he does not care what she does, and was not planning to see her at all. He also mentioned to me a while back that he does not want me to be "hurt" thats why he doesn't want to talk about it.

I told him the same thing as you - that its not that I he can't talk to OW aty all (especially since she actually works as a consultant for their company) but that I would prefer it if he could treat the whole thing like she was an acquaintance and be able to mention it to me. That I will not be "hurt" if he tells me.

One thing I realized...its actually them who get "hurt" talking about OW. I guess it brings up bad memories and frustrations.

I sort of equate it with them not beng fully over it yet...the wound is too raw. Doesn't mean they are not working on the M...because I can see my H doing it, and I'm sure yours is too.

Anyway, to go on...OW and her fiance went to our city after the convention, and called up H so he could meet her fiance and also to ask for advice about going to Yosemite, Vegas etc. (she's n ot from the US). H called me and told me all about it. I responded very cheerfully,showing him that it no longer bothered me, and finally, we were able to talk about ex OW like any other acquaintance. That felt good!

I still have to wait for the time though that I can ask him about everything....not now

H