for those that know Meyers-Briggs, i am an ENFP and she is an INFJ.
Interesting, I'm also an ENFP. It's a pretty unusual combo, I don't think I've run across another since I took the M-B class many years ago.
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i neglected basics, was depressed, emotionally unavailable...for years! bad, bad, bad.
Have you done a 180 on this or is it still an issue?
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as far as l.ove l.anguages, i knew that she liked q.uality t.ime, but i didn't realize until recently how a.cts o.f s.ervice were so big,
Sounds like you've read 5LL, so that's good. Have you implemented the tips you read in it?
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i later found out that through all of it, he would rarely respond, but when he did, it was always telling her to stop.
Wow, I've read a lot of odd things on these forums but this is truly bizarre. I've never heard of someone meeting a person once and then barraging them with emails even after being told to stop. I don't even know what to say to that. Has your W gone through IC?
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he gave me a copy of the months of emails (over 400) and has since forwarded me mostly anything new. she was basically stalking this guy.
Unbelievable!!
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thinks there is a possibility that she could be persuaded to love me again, but it is up to me to "change her perception of reality." she says she couldn't stay married to me unless she fell in love with me again. i can't exactly figure out where WE are in the spectrum of progress.
Have you read DR? Basically what she's asking for is what the DB approach delivers- change yourself and make yourself into the spouse that only a fool would leave. But it takes time, LOTS of time. You're asking about progress, but it's much too soon for that. It'll be months before you start seeing positive signs.
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this whole time i have gone through big ups and downs of pursuing her and i feel she is simply keeping me at a distance
That's usually how the distance/ pursuit dynamic works. You pursue, she distances. That's why you've got to pull back.
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all that being said, i'm simply trying to g.et a. l.ife and start just being me again.
Good. Try to remember who you were when the two of you started dating and get back in touch with that person.