She says she loves me but that's not what I feel. Sex has become a once a month encounter if it can be squeezed into the commercial break. Trying to find out the daily activities and plans is hit or miss because she's always busy or distracted. Any deeper conversations just don't happen. We have few common interests. She's so tired that anything I ask of her seems like another burden to saddle her with.
Hello and welcome to the forums! You're actually in a pretty good spot to fix things I think, because it doesn't sound like your W is at the crisis point yet. Nearly all of us here don't find our ways here until the crisis point has already come and gone, and then it's not about repairing a M, it's about trying to put the pieces back together. Have you read Divorce Remedy? What about the 5 Love Languages? I think both would really help you in your sitch. Both will tell you that what you're guilty of right now is sitting around doing nothing and expecting your W and your M to improve with time. It won't happen. YOU have got to do something to change the dynamics. And the sooner the better. 5LL will teach you your primary love language, but more importantly it will teach you your W's, and it will teach you that your PLL and hers are probably not the same. So if you're trying to show her love using your PLL (like most of us do), then it's not registering with her. You have to show her love in HER PLL, and when you do then great things will usually follow!
The key is to not sit around and wait for her to fill your love tank first thinking you'll reciprocate later. That's what happens in most marriages, both spouses sit around on empty doing nothing while griping about how their spouse isn't filling their love tank. Fill hers first, then she will WANT to fill yours.
