trying to save my marriage Phase 2

[labug]

AND, the one thing I did learn last night was keeping things the same at the holiday's isn't always helpful. Sometimes you need to mix it up. It's hard for me because so many of our traditions are family (extended) based, but I plan on doing something different with DD this Christmas Eve (if I can get my parents to agree). Maybe start a new tradition of pizza and movies... something different and NOT Christmas related.
Also, they suggested having a firm plan, something to look forward to. Maybe on Christmas Eve you invited girlfriends over to make cookies, or you and DD make and decorate cookies. Or maybe Christmas Eve church service? Just plan something to help get you through the time. I'm lucky this year, I only have 3 days off and back to work. It doesn't give me much time wallow in self pity. My H is coming over Christmas morning to do presents with DD and I. She wanted it. But she is older and understands much better than you're DD. But it will be hard for both of us. The husband leader said last night, that just remember, it's as hard if not harder for H to walk into the house he lived in as a visitor and try to do the "normal" things. But I look at it this way ... his choice.

Great advice about the holidays and it's what I've tried to do. I even got a new Christmas tree.

I also and struck by this: it's as hard if not harder for H to walk into the house he lived in as a visitor and try to do the "normal" things. But I look at it this way ... his choice. My H has acted like a cat on a hot tin roof when he's here and I never quite understood it. This gives a new perspective.