This has to be so hard for you. It is his choice and you know you can't influence that, and you shouldn't. So what he misses D's performance? You will be there. He has missed it before and life you treat it like it doesn't matter, it will go away in D's head.
You are really mad because he chose OW over you guys. Best to start unpacking this a bit, Busting. If the family feeling gives you hope and expectation, then don't do it. He can have time with kids but not with you, it is not doing you any favours at this point.
What if he were to say " oh family outing" and you said " the kids are going to love it, I have plans".
You need to stop putting yourself in the range of hurt
