WAS vs. LBS

[AJM]

If it helps:
Boundary:
1. A line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.
2. A limit of a subject or sphere of activity.

Can we create a boundary that requires the other person to "do" something? I couldn't very well create a boundary that required my neighbor to buy me flowers. I COULD make a boundary that they couldn't treat me disrespectfully, and I could have that boundary for everyone.

A boundary is set, in this context to prevent somebody from hurting you directly. If you ask me, if you set a boundary to "make" somebody do something, that's controlling behavior and not a boundary.

i.e. controlling behavior is exhibiting behavior such that somebody buys you flowers.
i.e. a boundary is not accepting flowers because you don't want simply because you don't want them.
i.e. another boundary would be preventing somebody, in an adult way, from cursing at you
i.e. controlling behavior is withholding your attention from somebody because they didn't do something you wanted (borders on retaliation for perceived wrong and childish behavior)

You could make a boundary that prevents people from treating you disrespectfully and you should. And you should enforce that. That begs the question of what you consider disrespectful and what you plan to do to enforce that boundary without being controlling. Part of being an adult though, right?

Does that help? I think I used more words to describe your thought that a boundary is for protection, but I think it was necessary to illustrate the line between protecting and controlling.

AJ