I remember when I found out my ex was cheating on me. I found a valentines card from another man. She got into the toys etc as well. I'm sure there was more, but I do remember the anguish and pain it caused. I confronted mine. She moved out a few weeks later the first time.
My thoughts: you are going to let her go now or later. Pretending to be together to Christmas shop etc is part of her fantasy. Can you live with that? You need to figure it out sooner than later.
As for the "why?" What did you think about when that question was asked? I know for me, I have asked that thousands of times in the past. In the end, I found that there is no "why". Only "what". For me, that was a key component because I'm highly analytical. Finding the why is part of my DNA.
Letting go of the outcome is critical. Regardless of what she does, you will worry yourself to death over it if you don't let go of the "why" (as in you could fix it if you only knew - you can't).
Some tough questions to answer, but I think you'll be better served to answer sooner than later. For your own sake and for the sake of those around you.
I agree you should be able to look the kids in the eye and they know it was not you that did or caused this. I took that route as well and I'm grateful every day that I did.
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
