I haven't been posting for awhile. Not much happened between us. Actually, nothing happened between us. My life is slowly moving on. I am graduating and looking for a job. We have no contact at all for almost 3 months. I hate myself for "snooping" once again just now, after weeks of peace. I saw that they are still together and even more committed together, like "spending life together" kind of commitment. I wanna tell myself that this is normal, this is going to end, this is just an affair. But, meanwhile, I don't see how this is going to end.
He is not contacting me, at all. I am not contacting him either. I do not know how this is going to work. I am still thinking about him every day, I can't believe it. I once lost almost all my feelings for him but now all the memories came back, everyday.
I want to contact that OW. at least she won't block my phone call if I do call her for the first time. But then what, I do believe she is that kind of tricky woman.
I see no hope, really...no hope at all right now. I just want to cry. I shouldn't have snooped. I know I know.... I feel like my H is so stupid and cruel but I am stupid for being sad too.
