I suspect the crying is just mourning the dream, the good things you had that you remember and realize you won't be getting. I think it's a healthy thing to do, to get it out. It's a process and might take some time. Be careful not to rush it. You need closure to go forward in a healthy way. I'm sorry, though, I know it's very hard, and probably seems like it goes on forever. It will get better in time, and even sounds like it has some already.
You do sound better in a lot of ways. It sounds like you've made some real progress in your reactions to things. I'm glad for you. Every step in the right direction gets you closer to where you need to be. I think down the road, you'll be able to look back and be amazed at what you accomplished from the start of this. I believe you're going to come out of this better than before, much better. Then you'll have to be sure not to beat yourself up for the things you can look back on!
Thanks for checking in today. I was thinking about you and just wanted to give you a big hug. ((((SS))))
