RLA, you are really having a hard time right now and I feel for you. It's an ugly mess that doesn't have an obvious solution that gets you what you want. And it's not even obvious what you should want. And it's scary. And it's happening at Christmas.
You have also gotten some really good advice here. Advice that's really hard to pull off. That needs to be done for the long haul. That may or may not be successful in saving your M.
I get it. I really do. I think we all do. I don't think anyone here is discounting anything you're feeling. Most of us are feeling or have felt it ourselves. The specifics of the situation may vary, but deep down it looks pretty much the same for everyone. We're here for you. We know what you're going through. And we want the best for you, which may or may not be saving your M.
No advice from me today. Just a giant hug. (((((RLA)))))