Okay. latest reply from H, the most he has opened up ever: Again thank you for your honesty. I know how hard it can be.
We came to this marriage wanting something and neither of us provided it. I don't know what to say. There is so much pain. I am going to move forward believing what you have said. I have some peace now. I feel like I may still have a bit of life ahead of me and that feeling has not been there for so very long. It sounds like a horrible cliche but I hope we can rebuild a friendship in the future. For the children and for ourselves. I want you to be happy. I want you to find that person who can give you everything that I could not. I believe that you will. I can only apologize for not being the person you needed. We did have two beautiful children and that is a very precious gift. My life has felt so cold and empty and without value. I did not do this lightly. I know that I have failed you. I know that I have hurt D and S. I know that I have hurt you. But it would have been worse if we continued. I am a better person now. I can think again. Feel again. I can breath. I want you to do the same. In time you may find that you love me but not the love you needed to satisfy your life. That will come. And I want you to find it.
As for our physical relationship. I don't think we will agree. You say I never was romantic and pushed and I say you were never receptive and pushed. It's a chicken and an egg argument. And be that built up over years and years.
The point about him leaving was that he had pointed out that the marriage hadn't been good for a long time and hel felt that I was putting the sole responsibility on him. My reply to that was it was his sole decision to leave, but it was both of our responsibility that the marriage was where it was at that point.
Any thoughts? No expectations, my reply was that he is an amazing man and I am sorry for the pain I caused. That I was so glad he could breathe again and in the future, if he saw a still single girl with a streak of blonde, a sassy attitude and more compassion than you realize, you could ask her out because I think you may like her.
