My suggestion is to not say anything about the marriage. It will scare her away.
Keep it light and friendly. Let her know you look forward to talking with her and maybe mention something cool that's going on in your life now.
There are cool and exciting things going on in your life now, right? You have to live your life, you can't just wait around for her and expect she'll be delighted to come back.
The goal here is to get her to chase you!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Thank you for the reply ForeverYoung, Yes I do have cool things going on but not as much as i did during the summer. I hate the winter lol. My skydive i did , i got my motorcycle and found a few new guys to go ride with. But to cold now lol.... Going to concerts and after holidays going on a few weekend getaways. yes by my self but nothing wrong with that. yes it would be better to go with someone but for now it is just me.
But the reason for putting the text the way i did was that i know she wants to talk about the marrage well i am thinking more of how to get a divorce but im thinking positive today..
But you also bring up a good point it may scare her away . hence the reason why i said I am ready to listen to what you have to say and do not hold back.
There is a good thing i think. It is that me and WAW daughter have been talking alot lately all good things and not about the wife and me. I'm hoping this will at some point put to rest some of the WAW concerns she had about me and my stepdaughter...
But the reason for putting the text the way i did was that i know she wants to talk about the marrage
How do you know this? You have very little communication with her.
Stay away from relationship/marriage talks unless she brings it up! Your goal is to try to be a friend that she wants to spend time with. You need to just have some fun together for now.
Unless YOU want D. If this is the case give her an ultimatum, which will force her one way or the other.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
By no means do i want the divoce. And I guess you are correct on how do I know what she wants to talk about. I am just making assumptions and they can only get me in trouble...
So You are correct and I will stay away from the marriage and relationship talk unless she brings it up. If she does I will have a mind set of just listening to what she has to say. I was told i do not have to give to much input just listen then digest...
So we will see. I have not sent any text yet as I am not ready to. I will be just not yet.
Have to take care of my dog that is sick and has to have an operation tomorrow.
Hey guys and gals I just have a simple question well maybe not so simple but it has been on my mind for a few days.
How come it is always me that has to start the texting or any kind of contact with my WAW. Why is it that she does not send a text to me once in a while....
Also as you read in past posts I sent a text to WAW saying I love you and much to my suprise she replied. So yesterday I sent a 2nd text to her. In this one i said the following "I know you are working a lot and im sorry u have too. Try to have a good day. LU XOXO..." Well i did not think she would reply and she did not for a few hrs. I know that she was working and can not replied. But she did reply again. all this is a shock to me!! the reson why is that in the past when i try to say I love you or I miss you she would not respond at all never. So why is she doing it now???
Have i started to put a small creck in the one ice cold WAW. I dont know.
any one out there have this happen to them or can you tell me why this is happening but also why does she not send me a text befor i do...
Man why do i do this to myself. UGH!! I drove past WAW house and the house was dark but her car was there. First thing i thing is were is she who is she with an other guy. But for all i know she could have been sleeping. She does work every day something she has to do to make ends meet. but If i had to bet I would say she is out with her girlfriend that is Gay... She is always and I maen always with my WAW. Now I am just feel down a little and still want to know who she is with. But that is how I feel I will not act on it but just sharing here.
Would love to know when the WAW is going to come and talk to me like she keeps saying she will do but no time. lol she can find time for everything else then she could for me too.
well it is what it is for now. I just pray that one day God will feel it fit to have this marrage fixed....
OK well It is getting to be close to xmass and well my WAW still has the car in both our names. I just got notified that she did not make the payment and the next one is coming up next week. I sent the letter i got to my WAW did not put anything in it just the late notice. So Now I am waiting to see what she is going to do.
She is the type person that will go into deep dept at xmass for her kids that arre 24 and 20. We always had the money when we were together but now that she has walked away she is hurting but still spending.
All i want to do is help my wife but not sure if i should or how to deal with this. The gaol here is to do things that will help bring us together not pull us apart. I have already put money in the joint account a month ago when the big storm SANDY hit us. Told her to us it if she needs it. I was also told the it would be good to put more money in the accont and send a text to WAW saying holidays are coming so i put extra cash in account its there for you to use.I have not done that yet but plan on it soon.
any other ideas that can help with the car thing. I just know she is really having a very hard time with making ends meet.. she is now working 3 jobs
Man why do i do this to myself. UGH!! I drove past WAW house and the house was dark but her car was there. First thing i thing is were is she who is she with an other guy. But for all i know she could have been sleeping. She does work every day something she has to do to make ends meet. but If i had to bet I would say she is out with her girlfriend that is Gay... She is always and I maen always with my WAW. Now I am just feel down a little and still want to know who she is with. But that is how I feel I will not act on it but just sharing here.
Would love to know when the WAW is going to come and talk to me like she keeps saying she will do but no time. lol she can find time for everything else then she could for me too.
well it is what it is for now. I just pray that one day God will feel it fit to have this marrage fixed....
This sounds familiar. Then I realized that it was your thread I posted in a few pages back.
Quote:
What did you hope to gain by driving by her house?
I look at it this way... There's three possible out comes: 1. You drive by and don't see anything other than a house. You feel the same way you did before you drove by. 2. You drive by and see someone else's car and get frustrated. 3. You drive by and she sees you and get's upset with you for not giving her space.
Where's the positive outcome?
You're making things harder on yourself. If you feel the urge to drive by, DON'T!
Go do something for yourself when you have the urge. Do something. Go shopping, go for a walk, read a book. Whatever. You're not helping yourself.
In my opinion, I'd also stop the ILY texts. You don't know how she's receiving them. She could appreciate it, or she could be thinking to herself, "ugghhh.. Now how am I supposed to respond to this!" It could be pushing her away. I wouldn't send these texts unless you know without a doubt that they are received positively.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
Why do i feel so bad for my WAW.. I sent her a late notice i got from the car that is both names. this was give to her mom to give to WAW. SHe was 400 past due and 460 for the current moths payment. The letter was given to her 2 or 3 days ago. So Today I get a text from her say " I took care of the car. Sorry about that. enjoy your day."
I did reply saying "it is not a problem Love you XO"
I did not get a chance to put money in the joint account like I said I would earlier. Have to wait till I get paid to do that. But i feel so bad that she is having such a hard time. I do not know ere she got the money to pay it but have a good idea. But i am not going to worry about that.
Here is what im feeling is this wrong to feel this.
I feel so bad that she is having a hard time that all i want to do is just help her. I feel like crying for her. I know how she gets around the holidays. Now should I still put the money in the joint account..
One thing about the text is she did not yell at me like she would have a few months ago. I guess that is good. But i know deep down she is upset that she had to pay the car payment. I have been trying to do things that will bring us together and not cause more bad thoughts about me. So by doing giving her the late notice i caused more negitive feelings and that is the part i hate. is this ok for me to feel this way?
should i still put money in account or will she feel as if im doing it cause i feel sorry for her. thus causeing more bad feelings
Also should I continue to tell her I love her in my texts i send. I just put LU XO at the end of my texts to her. she has been reseptive to them in the past but not today..
