I have been truthful with H in the emails, since I really do not think we are ready for a sit down convo. He has a lot of hurt and anger on his side and my DB'ing is not strong enough yet lol! Although if he does bring it up I will validate, nod etc. He says I do not trust or respect him-he is right but I said I am working on it. But what he is seeing as respect is not coming across as that to me, so I told him he must hit me over the head with it.
Example: had discussion with D about options for next year. I thought what if H is right and this is what D would want? I gave her all the options and she chose to stay with me. H was mad because he said I had sat down with her and without him in the convo. I did not see it that way, I said, but now I know what you mean and am happy to share all parenting decisions. I told him I had never done it before simply because he was never here and I have been making the decisions on my own for many years. I said you may have to hit me with a 2x4 and make very clear what you want to discuss as two parents
So am working on letting him vent, giving my side but not justifying my answers defensively (in terms of what he did, only in terms of how I felt and what I could have done differently)
