On Dec 12, 2012, at 05:04 AM, Robert Matthew <rrtmatthew@me.com> wrote: > I can understand some of your concerns. Introducing Marie-Claude to the children will be done at an appropriate time but at a time of my choosing. I am still their father and I think I have been a good father to them. I am disappointed that you would think otherwise or that you felt a need to advise me. > The children need to understand that although our marriage has only recently ended that it has been over for a long time. It is difficult for them to understand when you tell them that you love me but you can't control how people feel or stop them from doing what they want to do. This tells them that I am solely responsible for our breakup and I do not believe it is fair. If you are honest with yourself you would admit that you have not been happy either for a very long time. > > > > You chose this year to ski at the mountain every Saturday knowing that we would be in social situations constantly. This also sends a message to the children that may be conflicting. To avoid this I have changed my times and given up a part of my life that I enjoy and have always enjoyed to accommodate your choice. Owls head was one thing that was always mine and in an effort not to cause confusion or send the wrong message I have given it to you. > > I will always make choices that are in the best interest of the children. I always have. But they will be my choices. If you ever trusted me I ask that you respect and trust my decisions now.
It is hard for me to trust you because you have been lying to me, however, I would never advise you on how to proceed, it is just how I feel, and feel about the children. Absolutely I take responsibility for my part in the marriage, but it is the truth that I love you and it is the truth that I wanted to try to work on the marriage. To all my friends I have been blunt and honest in my part in the dissolution of the marriage-very blunt and the fact that it takes effort to make a relationship work, effort from both parties. I have also said that the decision for you to leave was not mine and I also have said that when you love someone, you do not want to see them unhappy. I also haven't been happy, but it did not mean that I didn't love you and it did not mean I wanted out of the marriage. So, for me to say it was mutual would be a lie.
I choose to ski Saturdays with the Adaptive program because this is something I have wanted to do for a couple of years. You skiing Saturdays would not have affected the children and would not have been conflicting at all. They see us having coffee, or talking, why should seeing us both at the hill be any different? In your last post-you said that you did not even want to be at OH anymore, because you were tired of the crap,
I beg to differ on best choices for the children, as you left, and would not even consider staying for the kids or the impact it had on them. Kiera is currently doing a skit for Christmas where the father left and doesn't get to see all the important things that happen in his daughter's life. So, in this instance, you did not do what was best for kids, because we could have worked something out to co exist for Kiera's next few years. Do not misunderstand me please. You put your happiness first and I do not resent you for it, I only think that it was not the best choice when it came to the children. You are solely responsible for leaving Rob, you are not solely responsible for the trouble in the marriage
