The green green grass of home. (Part 2 )

[Soul.Searching]

Not really CV, pretty much same old.
H was supposed to be coming over last Saturday to put the roof lights up but he didn't turn up. I wasent actually expecting him to, so I wasent disappointed at all.
Sunday we went to the beach with some cousins, we were going to meet up with another cousin who we don't know but it was so totally windy and cold down there. So we ended up just meeting for five minutes and coming back home. Lol
We ended up taking the kids to the pools instead. The kids had a ball, I actually quite enjoyed it too.
I've been cleaning through the house. Getting rid if a lot of stuff and getting all if H stuff back to him. The kids rooms are finally done.
S8 was sick on Monday, then both kids on Tuesday, so they haven been home from school sick. D9 went on Monday and got a headake, her teacher wouldn't let her go to sickbay, so ill be going in to speak to somebody about that tomorrow!
She had a temp and told the teacher five times she was not well! Poor girl got home and didn't move off the lounge.

H has been coming over a bit
Lately, just to pick stuff up etc, he hasent been staying long but he does like to cuddle hello and goodbye a lot these days.

His stopped calling much again though but I think it's easier that way.

I have been spending more time with the kids. I'm not so rushed these days. It's a lot calmer around here. I think the kids are really enjoying spending more quality time together.

I'm okay mostly. I find I'm pretty good during the day but get upset usually of a night. Probably because that's when we seen each other mostly.
It's the time of year where H is on holidays, so it's usually a really good family time of year.

I think I'm struggling with that. I cry most nights lately, it's not total sobbing like it used to be though. It's not that total devestation like it used to be, It's more like being sad about the whole sitch but not running around looking for a solution.

Honestly, I don't even know why it hurts so much. I don't want a part time husband anymore. H seems happy enough with things the way they are. He can go out and party whenever he wants. If that's the life he wants, then who am I to stop him?

We are just two totally different people who enjoyed a lot if the same things.

He is supposed to have the children thus weekend but because D has her concert on Sunday, he is not picking them up. He is going to the concert, so I don't see why he is not having them but oh well.

They are okay with it and so am I.

I really need to work something out for the nights. Once the kids are in bad and I'm finished doing stuff for the night, the pain comes back.
Christmas is coming fast. Honestly I'm just trying to get through Christmas as best as possible.