In thinking about my last post I wanted to be sure I didn't give the wrong impression.
Quote:
I don't see changing these things before the end of the year necessarily, but having not yet changed them always gives me room to heighten my boundaries if I should feel it necessary. (My daughter actually taught me this. If I take EVERYTHING away for her bad attitude, what incentive is there for her to change her attitude? She has nothing left to lose.)
I have no "expectations" for reconciliation due to my boundary setting. These limits are really and truly FOR me. For my self respect, my dignity and my sanity. And my "boundaries" are not a punishment of H, they are simply a consequence of his actions.
But its very possible/probable that I may have to continue living with H for quite some time. I don't want to live, or have my children live, in a war zone. So if doing laundry which I would be doing anyway, or boiling a couple of eggs keeps the missiles from flying - then so be it.
I am working towards the return of me. Turning the mental/emotional energies formerly given to H back to me. And its a very slow, painful process. I show no tears to H, but that doesn't mean I don't shed them. Hearkening back to the patient on life support analogy, even knowing that "life" is no longer possible and having made the decision to pull the plug, there is still grief. _________________________
And Snodderly the Sage's response
Originally Posted By: snodderly
You certainly have been thinking about your situation and I think you are on the right track w/everything. Set your boundaries as needed.
You are absolutely correct w/the analogy about pulling the plug and there is still grief. You'll have moments of grief for quite some time and it's normal.
You have a "can do" attitude and that's what is going to shine through wherever you go. You have goals and I have no doubt that you will reach them and go even further beyond them.
