Getting advice about what to do or say in specific situations is fine, but reflect upon why you need that help. Dig deeper.
Reflect on what has worked, and what in your mindset needs to change to be able to respond in that manner naturally next time. How can you change that?
Right now you obsess about her phones/txt right? And you've been given advice to STOP. What makes you obsessive? Where does the real problem lie? You can force yourself to stop obsessing over her phone, but sooner or later it might be something else.
Right before BD I snooped on my X b/c I realized something was wrong. I was right, but it tipped her over and she left. She didn't want to go down that road again. I realized it doesn't really matter, they will do what they want no matter if you check up on them or not. I decided to never do it again, it's only damaging to yourself.
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
