W filed, I think we can make it work - what to do?

[mamabird]

I really feel for you Spartan. When I read your sitch, it feels like I could have written it (except with roles reversed).

It is so hard not to pressure or insert your own agenda, when you want so badly just for her to see your point of view. I have a hard time doing that and honestly, it hasn't worked out that well for me. So you try to do better than I have. I get very impatient and I am so frustrated after years of emotional neglect, plus being a woman I am way more prone to reacting to my emotions.

However, I think it will get easier as time goes on and you learn to practice these skills. I for one have to really learn not to interfere with my H's "process", but I'm a fairly straightforward person so it's hard for me to put on that poker face and pretend that I'm indifferent when I'm not.

You are making progress with your W. She keeps bringing up the R. She is looking for a way back in, I think. She has to allow herself to change her views and it sounds like she's trying to give herself permission to do that.