Thank you everyone for showing me that I am not alone. This is what makes it a little easier to "sit quietly, and let answers come".
I'm not asking H anything, he is just ready sometimes to talk. I have noticed that these last few days he has actually been looking me straight in the eyes when he speaks. Almost as if he's speaking to me instead of at me, go figure!
There has not been any blame in my direction and he seems to be, at times, not treating me as if I am a leper. Months ago he refereed to my leprosy as detaching from me, letting me go so he can freely move on.
He recently explained the thought behind that was if he wasn't tied to me he was free to live a single carefree life. Something that 2yrs ago his brain flipped around to make perfect sense to him, today he feels the guilt (his words).
I am in no way taking any of this as a new turn in our R. I feel as if he may be feeling me out to see the damage he may have caused, is causing!
Thanks again for reading and posting, everything I do that works comes from all of you!
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
