Thanks Tori, I figure I have my own credit card and those checks to foot the bill. The challenge may also be when to actually contact Jody. What time zone, if you know?
As far as roles, of course I'm the caring and responsible one. Us great minds think a like. . Suggestions on how to alter my role? She has taken a slight step forward with housework, a little with finances, and if I need to vent about a bad day (work) or the occassional emotional meltdown, she'll listen.
I think she is cakeeating some. I unfortunately cut her slack b/c it does sound like she's making some positive connections about hrself with her IC. Also, many of her friends' troubled Rs are more of they're sticking out for now, so maybe that'll have a soothing effect on her to reconsider working on us.
Regardless I need to better myself for whichever way it goes. A separate boundary issue I have is who am I as an individual apart from W and work. So not just the R boundary, but the self boundary. I never realized how complicated we can be.
Oh, and I did ask a couple gentle, nonR questions. Just to test the waters to see if she'd share, with which she did. Listening, validating, and eye contact with her and so many others I interact with lately has helped overall.
. Suggestions on how to alter my role? She has taken a slight step forward with housework, a little with finances, and if I need to vent about a bad day (work) or the occassional emotional meltdown, she'll listen. 
