<Why were the two of you divorced in previous marriages?> We both were in previous marriages and with those mates for over 15 years. For me, I loved my first wife but was not "in love" with her like "that". I was in it for a long time, over a decade but we separated and as we reached the end our divorce waiting period mandated where we are from I was contacted by her...I can't speak in 100%'s when it comes to questions like "if she never came into the picture could I have reconciled with my first wife", but I can say we were a couple of months from the end of the waiting period and we both had gone on with our lives with very little contact. No kids, with either of them.
For her, I can't speak to the type of love they had, only they can do that. What I know, and this is her side of the story, they were together since college, had a child, ran a big home business, did very well financially and her ex basically disconnected from the marriage and pretty much put all into making more money and buying bigger houses. His family was very poor as a child and he told her in college he was never going to live like that. I just think he was happy with living like that and not being connected and she wasn't.
Yes, I already know, you can take a look at both of our first marriages and it seems we both basically gave up on the long haul - and now it seems that what she did with us.
No, not a rebound - as far as I can tell. I had zero interest in connecting or dating anyone...except of course HER, the one, the only, the soul mate, the high school sweetheart, etc, etc. As you can tell, I am somewhat sarcastic, and I know that some don't believe in the soul mate thing. All I can say is how I felt about this girl since I bumped into her in junior high...she was in my heart for the next 20+ yrs...
<Sounds like the romantic portion of the relationship wore off and the marriage failed.> This is how I see it after a lot of counseling and some talk with the ex after she dropped the divorce. Yes, we had tons of chemistry, were very attracted to each other, and always felt that the love we felt for each other was threw the roof. Neither of us connected with another person in that way since we broke up during our first year of a long-distance college relationship - we had known each other since 7th grade and started the bf/gf things in 9th grade till college - about 4yrs. As I said, the first 4 years as adults was amazing, loving, in love, amazing physical relationship. etc, ect, BUT...that was part of the problem. We were sooo into each other because we had not had that type of connection for the previous 20 yrs that I now see that it was just about us. We didn't hang out much with other friends, we didn't have many individual interests, we were basically just riding a love high for 4 yrs and while it was amazing you can't ride that forever. Life started catching up - for example, I worked from home, didn't connect with many friends and she basically had Zero alone time at home. I got stressed from work but didn't look for another job to be happier with, I didn't drive due to meds I was taking but didn't go to the doc to see if there were new meds (the ones I was taking were 20 yrs old!) and she had to drive everyone everywhere all the time. Every once in a while she would say things like "do you think you might want to go to the doc to see if you can start driving again" or "if your not happy at this job why don't you look for another", or "is there anything you could do for fun or as a stress reliever from work"...etc. But I didn't really "hear" her, it didn't click that this was important to her, that she wanted me to get more engaged in life. So, that's a lot of my part for a start.
