Andrew, I'm glad you're going to talk to Jody. She's pretty booked, so I hope you get an appointment soon.
I doubt your W will file. She didn't even want to move out! So I wouldn't worry about that.
Think about the roles you and your W are playing. Are you always the one to give, the one to be responsible/caring? Whatever roles you've always had, try to change them a little.
Also, besides listening, if you feel like asking a question, I would go ahead and ask. Asking Qs is part of listening.
I think your W is taking you for granted. She's tested the boundaries and seems to be getting away with a lot of stuff. My H did (is still doing) the same. Your W and my H have a lot of common behaviors. This is why I think talking with Jody will really help.
In regard to you Q about being a doormat vs. DBer, I'm not sure of the answer. I told my H it was no contact or I would file for D. That's why everything turned so sour when I found out he had continued the contact.
Let me know what happens...For now, continue being the best you can be...
