What do you do whenever your W and D get into an argument, or if your D won't cooperate with your W?
I get this little nagging feeling by some statements you've made about your W and the kids. Sometimes, it comes across as if you have this inner "glee" b/c the D prefers you over her mother. That's why I wondered what you do, if anything, when the D is giving your W a hard time.....and if that has been pretty much standard in the past years.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!