Trying really hard to be Thankful today...

[littleGTO]

Hi, Sweet,

Been thinking about you, as I often do! I'm so sorry you are having a hard time latey. Could be pregnancy, could be the holidays, could be the timing & his recent random texts to give you back some hope.

In any case there IS still hope if you BELIEVE there is. But I agree w LIS, that detachment is the key to being happier w/o him for now. I'm no expert at that as I am struggling w this too, but I understand the necessity of it.

I am peeved that your IC said all the things he did! And, like LIS, I disagree w him on many counts. It sounds like IC is doing some mind-reading! I bet he's rarely come across someone so strong as yourself for believing in your M, despite where it seems to be right now! And, everything I've read (and I've read A LOT lately) about MLC suggests it can happen to anyone 30+-55ish! So, it is definitely possible your H is in a full-MLC, like it sounds.

Our H's sound similar in their R w OW in that my H has a "solid friendship" w OW and is extremely emotionall attached. I too wonder how/if he could ever give her up...but only time will tell.

I do think your H is going to be coming around MORE when this baby is born. This is HIS SON! How can he NOT?!! Maybe he'll see it as a "fresh start" since he hasn't already messed up a R w this new little person.

I know Accuray is all about the solid DBing rules & that's why we are all here- to follow them & get through this by taking the higher ground & saving ourselves.

Having said that I don't think it is horrible to let your H know you are thinking about him once in a while (okay, hope I don't get kicked off the boards or lots of 2x4s my way). I sent my H a little "Just sending you a hug" card this week. No expectations for a response, no pursuing, just letting him know that I still care for him w/o the big "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH & MY HEART IS BREAKING EVERY DAY YOU ARE GONE SO PLEASE, PRETTY, PLEASE CONSIDER LEAVING THE OW TO COME HOME TO YOUR FAMILY." It's subtle & I think okay. It made ME feel better and how could that possible be a bad thing for him?

Anyway, wish I was closer to visit and chat in person--love to sit together & give you face-to-face moral support! (((HUGS)))