Let's look at something you did differently that worked:
Quote:
i'll throw in one kind of positive thing (i think) - he called to test a new cellphone he was jerking around with- then again. in 2nd call i asked a computer casual ? & in explaining he began to get himself all worked up and icky. and accurately- he was doing it to himself. the end is that a little while later - he called back- apologized for being icky- asked if the computer "thing" was okay and we had a pleasant call.
it was nice because i got off the cranky call feeling like "go straight to H_ll buddy" - i'm not doing "that" anymore in life- at least my gut says it. that's my biggest change of heart/personality. no explanations, apologies or hurt feelings when he's curt & crappy - just total turn-off & dismissal & dislike. that's something - rite?
YOU reacted differently than what H was expecting...that threw him off and sounds like he thought about his behavior....how can you build on that?
From what I can gather, I think that you being rather quiet throws him off his assumptions of how "you" are, makes him question...but I could be wrong.
Can you work towards letting go of the anger/annoyance in addition to not voicing it?
Try not to think about what he MAY or MAY NOT be doing/not doing and live YOUR life best you can, create changes in you that YOU want. You can't control him, so why give him so much mental energy for free?
As Snodderly says, sit quietly, the answers will come.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
