S went to daycare today because W had a job interview. It was postponed at the last minute. FB shows she spent the afternoon drinking again.
She said she was going to still pick up S, knowing I had a call for work at 7PM. She called stating she couldn't make it. Traffic was horrible so she was going to stop at a bar and wait 30 minutes or so for rush hour to subside and then come home. I had to pickup the pieces and scramble to get S dinner before my call. Her parents came over to help with S while I worked.
That was the last I heard from her. She just got home at 10.30pm. She's sleeping on the couch despite knowing I'm awake. I've noticed a pattern... When she's out with her coworkers (now excoworkers) she sleeps on the couch. Call me a mind reader, but it's probably because she was with OM doing god knows what and won't sleep next to me afterwards.
I'm starting to think I'm a fool. She had a previous affair less than a year into our marriage. When we were dating there were numerous OM that coincided with our needing to "take a break." There were times where she'd be dating someone else and would cheat on them with me. I always told myself it was because she wanted to be with me but I couldn't give her the commitment she wanted. Perhaps I'm the fool and she's never been faithful in her life.
The last few days I've really been wondering if I should just force myself to end this. I don't know if she's ever going to be capable of being in a committed relationship. I'm still young and I deserve better... It would be a long lonely road, but eventually I'd get there.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
