Ok, well, no responses yet, that's ok, I've read in other threads that I should just post another day's experience if I need to. mmmm, well, just some back ground info - we got together just over 6 yrs ago, got married 2 yrs later - madly in love, soul mates, the who nine yards. Yes, we were also high school sweethearts 20 yrs ago but split up after college took us our separate ways. Had not had any contacts whatsoever for those 20 yrs then I got the "is this you" email just over 6 yrs ago. We both had been married and divorced (to other people) at that point and when I got that email...well, lets just say I knew exactly who it was from and exactly what it meant. We went through the normal (and amazing) reconnection stages after the first email contact, moved into phone conversations, then about 2 mnths into what was already a long distance relationship we met in a third city. I walked into a dark hotel room, we both were completely nervous, she was lying on the bed (fully clothed), I walked in, laid down, and just held her, for the first time in 20 yrs, all night long....it was an amazing weekend to say the least, all the chemistry we had as kids (I say kids, we were 17/18) was still there 110%. After that weekend we knew what we wanted to do and started making plans and changing out lives. 4 months later I was extracted from my city in Canada and living in Texas with her. The next 4 yrs were amazing, we were so into each other as we had always been, she had a daughter from a previous marriage and I treated her as my own (without getting in between her and her dad), I got to know her ex, and we just started living life together...around the end of the 4th year I started getting bogged down by work and stressed. I stopped connecting with my friends as much, stopped planning things, stopped being pro-active...worse part is, I didn't even see that I was doing it. I see know that she was trying to tell me but I didn't "hear" her, she spoke to lightly about it and I just didn't get how important it was. After another year she threw in the towel and hear I am 5 months later, divorced. All that said, as is usually the case, the divorce awoke me. I have been living life 110% for the last 5 months and gaining so much from it, new friends, better mind, body, and spirit - all with a broken heart. I asked her once, while the divorce was going through, if she would consider getting back together after we divorced..."a lot would have to change" is all she said...
What am I doing now? Well, continuing on with all the new stuff I started 5 mnths ago, I've dated once or twice, it was nice but no real connection. I'm not really interested in it but I have had a issue with not "doing" things in my life so I am just doing things - just to stay active and engaged. Yes, that is it, that is how I would define it, I was not ENGAGED in life and I can see how that can start to get draining to a partner.
So, I'm living, not bugging her, but, also, like many others here, want to figure out if reconciliation is possible, when the time is right....
Ok, that took a lot out of me, time to get some sleep...
