Discussing her lover's pros & cons is another expression of disrespect for her H. It really makes no difference if it went physical or not (in this area), it's still not right for her to talk about him to you! Sometimes, you have to point out what is not appropriate.
Don't react in anger or show any emotion, just tell her you don't want to hear her discuss OM, then quickly change the subject or leave the room. Avoid getting into a R talk, whatever you do.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
