MLC, affair, internet pictures, we're a mess

[cantslowdown]

Well the MC said that my wife was basically mentally checked out and gone so I should start to plan for life without her. I said that's all well and good, but my wife has no plan to leave. Sure she has the idea, the thought, and the want to be independent, but she has no concrete plan. She tried to relate the steps she's taken (she could name ONE), but she just hasn't had enough time to get around to the rest. I feel like she is in the full on MLC (undecided and uncommitted to anything in her life) and I now have to deal with that accordingly. According to DB it'll take me forever and I have to suck it up and be tough without being a lapdog. She doesn't want to sleep in a different bedroom because she'll be farther away from the kids rooms, but she has no problem (in her mind) moving out completely and being totally away from them for days at a time? She said she is sorry and isn't doing this to hurt me. That is MLC, right? I'm not thrown for a loop at the outcome of the MC, because I don't expect miracles, but I sort of expected a marriage counselor to say "here's were you are both being idiots."

Anyway, I had a good time by myself on Saturday and after we left the MC office, I asked my wife what next weekend looked like for her (they are planning a work christmas party). She said that they would make the decision today which night the party would be and I said great, I would be going out again the other night. She actually said she didn't know if that worked for her. I said no. Christmas party for you one night, fine. I need to go out one of the other weekend nights and am willing to work around your Christmas Party night at this point. I like your idea, 7720, of dance class. I could use a little grace . I am going to look for more things where I get involved with other people, but I also NEED that time fully alone to just wander and recharge from being around people. I will need to build that balance again.

I currently interpret her attitude as she gets to make all her own decisions and she expects me to pass any and all decisions I have (even post imaginary divorce) by her to make sure I'm not getting some imaginary better deal. Whatever.