i was just poking around in posts in my place here- and saw your note back awhile ago - not sure when - you said:
Quote:
I reach out to friends mostly via text to help with the loneliness and I'm trying to have people over more, especially in the evening and on weekends. Seems to help. Right now all men seem like Lucifer in disguise so I'm not looking for any comfort from one--but the need to connect with someone and feel nurtured, loved, understood is still there. Not sure how to duplicate that?
It got me wondering how you're doing now and what? is it any better? i findmyself on the very brink of wondring if I should be just taking the final step and getting right the heck out of my sitch. i've always til now thought it was letting go of the best part of my life- now i wonder if it was even real. i'm more detached- i'm lonely too - he goes away for 2-3 wks at a time to fl house- then comes up here but i feel he is unable to be his normal self with me now- he does not see it i think- but i do. he is less constrained & stiff with everyone else in the universe but me. undoubt4edly his guilt over ow - or his current "dislike" ofme? i don't know really- since we are not supposed to ask or talk bout r, or "go there"- and this man has never been forthcoming with info about what's going on inside him-
it seems hopeless and maybe impossible to make an INFORMED decision- i get thinking perhaps i should just do anything to do something- move some way- do SOMETHING rather than just sit around thinking how pointless it all feels.
anyway- have you achieved any "good place" in your midn or emotions? would be interested to hear how you're doing. well i hope-
