Creating your own Closure

[Kimmerz]

You know Snodderly I was thinking that too over the last few months.

Last year he was too high and too pissed off at me to even notice the consequences of his choices. Well alot has changed over the past year. If any time is good for some good lessons, it's now. Christmas time is XH soft spot.


Maybe this is the year he will wake up and start to grasp the concept that this is his own doing. I was reminding MIL that his financial problems are not my responsibility.I did this because though she see's her son's stupid choices, she also tends to have the same mind set of perpetual victumhood.

The child support was done by the attorneys and by state guidelines, and XH agreed to spousal support. It's not my fault his $$$$ is gone. I can't help he missed work from being sick, and the fact that his flipping OW refuses to work and expects him to carry her and all her crap too. This is his problem.... not mine.

I gotta say, owning your own problems and being responsible for your own choices and actions really make like easier. But for some being accountable to yourself must be the scariest thing in the world. Have mercy, if you did that, then you JUST MIGHT HAVE TO TAKE A REAL GOOD LOOK AT YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU REFLECT TO OTHERS AROUND YOU.

[AJM]

While that's true, K, it's not likely he'll wake up and smell the coffee But it is likely he'll be annoyed that things aren't like he "dreamed" them up to be.

As Snodderly points out, you can feel compassion and empathy for them, like you would for anyone that is suffering from their choices, but you should under no circumstances waiver in your stance. He won't "go away" but he will try to annoy and control. It's just what they do..

And I agree. Owning my own problems and letting go of the rest - it truly is the best part of getting the gift of goodbye Very freeing and relaxing.

Peace,
AJ