[quote=Denver_2010]W and I are really trying to put the past behind us and focus on the here and now. I'm fighting to do this ^^^. I believe I'm about 90% there. The other 10% of me wants her to qualify her feelings now compared to BD 7 months ago. Hopefully with some more time that will fade.
M-38 W-32 D7, S4 M-10 BD-May '12 S for 1 month-June '12 Reconcile, Piecing
W and I are really trying to put the past behind us and focus on the here and now.
I'm fighting to do this ^^^. I believe I'm about 90% there. The other 10% of me wants her to qualify her feelings now compared to BD 7 months ago. Hopefully with some more time that will fade.
M-38 W-32 D7, S4 M-10 BD-May '12 S for 1 month-June '12 Reconcile, Piecing
Great to see you're still here and putting your life back together with your wife. I'll check in with you every now and again. Until then look after yourself and keep it real.
I'm still amazed by the similarities in our situations. This January it will be 5 years since my beautiful wife left me, and in May it'll be 5 years since she came back. We've had children since then too and our little girl just turned 2. Our son is turning 3 this week.
So grateful for our family and for the passage of time.
Best,
GH31
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
No significant updates. It's been a tough couple of weeks for W and I. I don't think that it is anything unusual for marriage though. Just kind of on each other's nerves off and on. We did have a nice time up in Vail this past weekend.
My W is throwing me a 40th birthday party this coming weekend and is going above and beyond. She loves to plan big events, but stresses out over them big time. This one is a Boardwalk Empire/roaring 20's party and we are suppose to have 40 or people at our house. Anyway, she's been stressed about that, so I'm trying to be patient with her, shall we say, crabbiness.
OM texted her again b!tching more about not getting gigs due to her. He's upset about not being put on a gig for NY's Eve up in Aspen. W is on the show and I'm going to be there. He's an idiot. She did not reply to him but did let the owner of the company know that she continues to feel harassed. Apparently the owner of the company talked to OM about it and he said that he would never contact W again. We shall see. She told me about the text the same day that she received it.
I haven't been around much on the board bc I have not been feeling great, and have been super busy with work and helping W with the leg work and heavy lifting in regards to our party.
Thanks for checking in everyone!
P.S. Cor - I think that what you are experiencing is not abnormal. When you find yourself trying to measure how your W feels not vs. how she felt on BD, remember that all of our emotions and feelings change with time. How she feels now most certainly is not how she felt then... she wouldn't be with you otherwise. And any of us, or our spouses, may feel differently about our relationships a year from now, 5 years from now, 20 years from now. There are no guarantees with our M's or our lives in general. That is something that we learned when we first had the bomb dropped on us... right? Live in the present... focus on making things better now and for the future... let the past go and move forward.
Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
P.S. Cor - I think that what you are experiencing is not abnormal. When you find yourself trying to measure how your W feels not vs. how she felt on BD, remember that all of our emotions and feelings change with time. How she feels now most certainly is not how she felt then... she wouldn't be with you otherwise. And any of us, or our spouses, may feel differently about our relationships a year from now, 5 years from now, 20 years from now. There are no guarantees with our M's or our lives in general. That is something that we learned when we first had the bomb dropped on us... right? Live in the present... focus on making things better now and for the future... let the past go and move forward.
This was very helpful Denver. Your insight really resonated with me since reading this last week and won't soon be forgotten. I know your busy so thank you sincerely for taking the time...
Hope your feeling better. How'd the party go?
M-38 W-32 D7, S4 M-10 BD-May '12 S for 1 month-June '12 Reconcile, Piecing
Hey Denver, I've been reading up on this thread and a few other "piecing" threads as my sich is near. I like to try prepare ya know? 8) If I do get the 100% consistent commitment from my W, I'll very gladly join you and the rest in these ranks.
Anways, the reason for this post, is to make sure that I say "Thank You!" You've been a great source of help thus far. Also, wanting to wish You and your family Happy Holidays!
