We were together for 7 years before we finally got married. There were several times during that period where she was going to end the relationship but we always patched things up and moved on. We are very close and I consider her my best friend.
I can understand this as you guys were very young and I think it is pretty natural that at that age people rethink the intensity of the first relationship.
Originally Posted By: niceguy
Amidst all of this, my wife has been neglected. We were not as intimate as we used to be, and it made her feel insecure. She told me about it several times, but I am not sure why it never registered as something I could fix. To me the fix was making more money so life could be good again like it used to be. then I would be happy and sex would be great again.
I see this as a huge clue to what is going on.
You worked six days a week. Your W, was a stay at home mom. You were her world and you weren't there.
I am not saying that to pick on you, and this is something that doesn't register with many men until it is too late.
As a man, you felt that if you could simply provide for her, YOU would feel better and could be a better partner.
As a woman, I can tell you, the money wasn't as important to her as you think. She wanted YOU to be there for her and felt that you weren't.
Have you read the 5 Love Languages? I would recommend it. It should give you some insight as to how your wife feels love. And how you give it.
Originally Posted By: niceguy
i wish people who are not licensed counselors would keep their mouth shut!
I have to intervene here and say that no one on these boards is a licensed counselor and you are here, looking for advice. Please be careful about this thinking.
At this point, read DR. Read the boards and others situations.
Don't pursue R talks and don't try to convince your W that there is anything wrong with OM. She will see it or she won't in her own time.
There are no guarantees that your M will be saved.
Begin to work on yourself, finding what makes you happy as a person, separate from her. If you simply change to become what you think she wants you to be and it isn't what you want to be, even if she comes back, it will fall apart down the road.
Have you set any goals for yourself?
Begun to look at 180's that work for you?
Keep posting, you will be off of moderation soon.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
