A newcomer's story

[justjudy]

I have been reading over on the Mid Life Crisis forum, threads on distinguishing the difference between MLC and WAS, the 6 stages of MLC, thoughts on "why they run"...there is so much good advice. My H fits the MLC profile in so many ways and it is very validating to have my impressions confirmed and to really see that this is so much about him. I don't for a minute think I am 100% blameless here but I can see a bigger picture that takes away some of that feeling of failure.

I do still think I am not doing as well at detaching as I could. H is on my mind a lot and I wish that would stop. I try not to initiate contact and am doing OK with that. I try to live my life 'as if' everything is going to be OK and just carry on. Im doing OK at that too.

I have been doing really well at being independent so I was sooo annoyed on the weekend. I was organising the pool for summer with D17's help and the filter pump just died. Pretty much everything else I can manage but the pump? no idea. When H came over to drop off D10 after the weekend he asked how it was going and D17 told him the pump wasn't working. He offered to have a look - I tried to politely refuse his help but really I had no option but to graciously accept his help - he was right there offering and the girls were both watching & listening. He offered to buy and fit a new pump. Grrr - don't want his help. But upside is the pool will get a new pump and I won't need to worry about it for the next few years. So I swallowed my pride and accepted. But frustrating. Don't think I did my best DBing. but at least D10 will enjoy the pool over summer.