Looked the Gift Horse in the Mouth

[mizjjd]

After H had a bit to think about what I said, he seemed to not like it. Came upstairs and told me I needed to be careful because I was "pushing him out".

I told him that my decision was not about him but rather about me. That he cannot have both of us.

He said the "best" thing for me to do was to continue as we had been, that that was what was keeping him here.

I said again that he had broken the marriage and that as long as ow was in the picture I could not be his "wife".

He told me he "could get nasty" if that was what I wanted.

I did share my dinner with him last night. Thinking maybe I'd better go slowly on the stopping here?

But at bed time he demanded I come close to cuddle and I refused. There was some back and forth about this. He said that I was foolish to not give him "something to hold onto and keep him here".

I managed to maintain calm in each sitch/discussion. But his reaction - is this normal? There is no avoidance tho he insists my decision will "make him more distant" from me.

IDK if what has become my "script" is good or not. I say, calmly, "You can't have both of us."

He says "But I don't have either of you!"

I feel I am justified in setting this boundary/consequence but he is determined to cake eat. Is this normal for MLC? Should I consider that while MLC is a big factor in his personality that there may be another strong and damaging trait too? IDK what exactly... Or is he just a slightly atypical MLCer?

I also rather expect that he will be trying different sorts of "acting out", trying to get "his way"... this is going to be so hard