Stuck between a hard place and the biggest rock.

[Big Bruce]

Your main, if not only, focus right now should be on becoming a father she can trust. And it is slow baby steps to earn that trust. It is also slow baby steps to learn all you need to learn about taking care of a toddler! ... you can get a bond like you have never known between you and your son.

Thank you for sharing your story and how you felt about your H helping out.
My fist unsupervised time with S went well, but it was only 2 hours. So it was easy. Didn't have to change the diaper, although he was smelling when I brought him back. (but if I took the time to change him, then I would have been late, and sure enough, I'd have a lecture on how to be on time).

For the moment I will seek more time with S, and learn to take care of a 20 month toddler. However, you felt that your H was a great dad and a poor H.
I hope I become not only a super dad, but that W will also see me as super H... it wasn't the case with you apparently... and I don't want to be just the former and not the latter...