So my ex is driving north to visit Ryan for Christmas tommorrow. Ryan's nurse will drive him about 90 min south to meet up with him at the mall. One of the things I have to do every year is buy my ex a Christmas and birthday gift from Ryan since Ryan is unable to do that. On Father's Day I often ask the nurse to pick up a gift card. It still feels awkward to do that and he never would buy something for Ryan to give me but I do it because I know if Ryan had not suffered brain damage - he would have wanted to do this for his Dad.
Last year on Christmas Day (at night) I gave every person in my family (dad, kids, brother, sisters, nieces, nephews) who were sleeping over (17 of us in all) matching red pjs. So we put them on them on and had our picture taken in front of the fireplace. It's funky and fun (and not perfect) - my daughter is hoisting a beer, Ryan's head is down and I think my nephew has his fingers over his cousin's head. Typical. But I have made copies and they are our Christmas card this year.
So the question is - Should I give ex a copy of this card. I want to include a card with his gift. He was a part of this family for 30 years. I think he would want to see how the nieces and nephews have grown up (he has been gone 11 years). Of course Josh is in the pic but he has met Josh and knows we live together and that he is part of my kids' lives. Interestingly - many of his nieces, nephews, cousins, siblings and aunts have added me to Facebook. They have not wanted to lose touch. Most of them have not stayed in touch with him.
Ex will turn 60 on Dec 28. That has to be worrying to him. His parents both died in their early 60s. I know that both he and OW have always believed they would not live long lives. My kids are not planning to celebrate his birthday with him - I believe they will see him only for Christmas - the 2 younger kids will meet with him for lunch next Saturday. They had asked to see him the day after Christmas but he declined. He has never seen them on Christmas since he left.
But whatever. Just interested in your input on the Christmas card. It would be easy to give him a regular card. But he might like the family one. Or hate it.
