I think if you get to Christmas Eve you need to shut off cell and put it in freezer. Screw it, and enjoy the time with the babies
Also it is dark for me too and I have been better. H has gone NC, opposite of yours. We, you and me, HAVE to stop letting this affect us. I feel like that little dog always jumping after the big one saying "Huh, Spike? Huh?" And I don't like it.
About the future, there is nothing we can do. What will happen will happen. I refuse to think of my sitch further than today. If I do, it freaks me out lol! I can only think about it on a good day, or in a good hour. To dwell on it when you are in the dark places is not a healthy idea.
Get out, go for a walk, buy an ice cream-do something,
