Yesterday was a really bad day. I woke up to a nasty email from H about money. Of course his paycheck is messed up, we won't be getting any money again. I think he's trying to smoke me out. If he doesn't give us money, he probably thinks I'll file for the divorce out of frustration. I refuse. I promised my girls, myself and the man I married that I would not give up on my marriage. Why do I still love this man? Why do I want him in my life? He has been so cruel. He gives us nothing. He walked away from my Ds. He is living with the OW and racking up big credit card bills buying things and taking trips. He is going to Prague with her for Christmas. He said weeks ago he wants a relationship with Ds, but won't stay in town to even try to see them at Christmas. It's so unbelievable. I spend hours crying over this man!!!! Why???? I want to hate him so badly, but I can't.
